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When Your Husband Doesn't Appreciate You
6 Ways to Deal When Your Husband Doesn't Appreciate You
Have you ever reached a place in your marriage where it feels like you and your spouse just aren’t connecting? A time where you sit and sleep next to one another, but the distance between you feels like an overseas journey? Maybe you feel like your husband doesn’t appreciate you, or he’s just treating you downright wrong. What do you do?
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My wife recently forwarded me an article from Loveawake on the subject of being connected with your husband. The article had some good points intended to help wives handle “an apocalyptic battle a civil discussion with your husband about how you are being treated like a slave are not feeling appreciated.”
Below are 6 things you should do when feeling unappreciated by your husband:
Plan a quiet time together
Find a place and time for you to be alone — no kids, no TV, nothing to distract you from each other. Somewhere or something you both would enjoy.
Have some conversation starters
Have some questions that will help you facilitate a deeper conversation — not the typical work or kid talk. Have some questions that make you think. You don't want to be sitting there just looking at each other and feeling awkward.
Understand his response may not be what you hoped for
You may be hoping to hear one thing that will make it all better. That's a bad idea. Have an open mind that he may say something that makes no sense (we, men, typically do). Your goal is to get quality information and awareness about your husband and in-turn, provide the same for him.
Be completely honest and transparent
If he does happen to say something crazy or hurtful, don't try to hide it. If you were feeling unappreciated when you were hurting already, respond with kindness but also with the truth. Let him know how it makes you feel. It is a high probability that your husband is not trying to hurt you and is unaware that he is.
Take action in love
The final goal you should have is to determine some action items. Your action items might be showing him the kindness, love, and respect you feel you are missing during this season in your marriage. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to make men aware by making things obvious. You doing some things you weren't doing before may tip him off that he is coming up short in some areas as well.
Be patient
Do not, I repeat, do not expect things to change over night. Be patient in seeing the results you hope for. Taking the steps listed will start to turn your relationship back in the right direction, allowing you to hopefully feel more connected after.