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The Dangers of Rating Your Girlfriend
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You know what conversation I’ll never have with my girlfriend? Give up? Good. I’ll never have the conversation where we discuss my “rating” of her.There are bad ideas in life and then there are TERRIBLE BUBONIC PLAGUE AND SYPHILLIS bad ideas. Discussing your rating of any close friends of yours is definitely one of them. File it in with shooting yourself in the left testicle/breasticle as “things you should avoid at all costs.”
Hmm…why is it such a bad idea?
I’m glad you asked. Let’s think about this.
We’ve already discussed platonic friends so let’s just run with the idea that men don’t have platonic friends – we just have friends we haven’t slept with…yet.
[***DISCLAIMER: I don’t have those types of friends. All of my female friends are platonic!!!! You read that, baby? Did you? Did you??? (Yes my girlfriend both reads and responds on blog.loveawake.com)***]
So assuming that men don’t have platonic friends and that for the most part we just want to see women naked (and let’s pretend Kamilah’s story and her two homeboys’ response was an anomaly), why is this a bad idea?
For a few reasons, actually. For one, there is no right answer to this question. She won’t believe you for two. You can’t tell her you think she’s a 10 because of course you’re lying and she knows your lying because she knows she’s not a 10 because despite her thinking she’s perfect she KNOWS she’s not and you telling her that she’s a dime is just placating her and trying to get into her goodiebox.
And women aren’t stupid. They know when we’re just saying what they want to hear. Which is interesting if you think about it. I don’t think most women want to hear the truth, but they also don’t want to hear a lie. Women just like voices.
Conversely, if you tell your homegirl that she’s a 7 then you have to explain to her why she’s not a 10. And trust me, broham, you DO NOT WANT TO explain to a woman you’re trying to see naked what you think is wrong with her.
There are two truisms in life. One: Single men are highly sensitive, especially if they’re from LA. Two: Nothing makes a chick more defensive (read: less likely to sleep with you) than hearing about what YOU think are her imperfections. She may say that she appreciates that you’re honest with her…and perhaps she does, but it still stings to hear that you think she’d be so much hotter if she, ya know, got a different face and added a couple SOLO cups to her breast size..and not to mention that weird twitch her right eyebrow seems to do on Thursdays. And trust me pimpin’, you’ll HAVE to have this conversation because she isn’t letting it go, hombre.
You may just want to give her the rating and keep it moving. I know I do. I see a chick, I rate a chick, I scratch myself, and I keep it moving. Ain’t a woman alive that is going to say, “You think I’m a 7…cool. What’s on TV?”
Further, if you tell her she’s a 6, you might hurt her feelings (read: no drawz). If you tell her that she’s an 8, she may be happy but she’ll want to know what she would need to do to become a 10 to which you should just reply:
“Become hotter.” And then throw something at her to change the subject.
Tell a chick she’s a 9? Sheeeeeeeeeeit. You might as well get ready to spend your afternoon convincing her that you actually mean it AND telling her what she’d need to do to become a 10.
The bottom line is that you never want to have to tell a woman her flaws unless she specifically asks about them because it will never end well. It just…is.